It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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