I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
