Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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