I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
there was a trapeze. enough said
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
