i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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