it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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