You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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