is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize