Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize
