Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
