i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize