Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
