happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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