Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
