Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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