I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
