we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
