question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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