you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
