Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
