So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
