This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
