Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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