paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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