Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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