we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
