In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
