We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize