I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
