Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Randomize
