I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize