Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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