This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
