Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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