Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
