we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I need to stop coming to work sober
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
