When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
