yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
