I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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