I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
