she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize