The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize