too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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