dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
