It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
What a dumb baby whore.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
