i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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