I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
