What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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