Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Randomize
