She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
