Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
