he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
