no more duck duck goose at the bar
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
