yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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