I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
