carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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