she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
