Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
