PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
