2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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