the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
