My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
