The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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