i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
