she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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