He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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