is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
