Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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