How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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