Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I can't trust your balls anymore.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
