I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize