I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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