somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Me too!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
