I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
