Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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