I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
