I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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